Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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