...so i touched it.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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