I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
