Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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