just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
