The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I have tasted many bathrooms
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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