It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
