I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
