Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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