White coat. Heels.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
