just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
