this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
