lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
