Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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