I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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