butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
