If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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