Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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