You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
