been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize