nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
