Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
