It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize