would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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