That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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