Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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