Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
