operation harelip BJ is a go
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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