so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize