Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
