Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
