wake up i wanna do it froggy style
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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