Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
