There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
