Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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