Don't make out with my wife yet
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
