it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
