im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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