she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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