SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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