i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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