Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
