At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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