can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
