you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
