i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
that's an acceptable place to lick
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
