First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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