she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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