Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Randomize
