I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
