You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
