When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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