I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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