My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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