Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
