I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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