honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
